Just the other day, I was watching a re run of this Lindsay Lohan movie, Georgia Rules. It was actually nice really. Beyond my expectations. Lol. I'm not a LL hater but I kinda find her acting skills abit over dramatic and attention seeking in the past. From Disney films to hooker films? What exactly is she trying to proof? Well anyway, her role in this film has definitely shown a very mature and different side of her.

The story is about a girl(LL) who was sexually asaulted by her step father since she was 12. To avoid any further assault, she ran away to her grandmother. Leaving her mother(Felicity Huffman) behind, confused between the whispers of her husband's poisoned words and the pleas from her daughter. To resolve this, she went back home to her hometown to find her daughter. Along the way, finding out the strengths in herself when she meets her mother whom she left behind to marry " a man with a nice car".

Lol..for me to tell you the whole story, would be an equivalent of a book but yet, I hope there is such a book. In one's life, there are many struggles, many obstacles as well as many secrets we pick up along the way. So whats left behind each time? A tear? Empty bottles of alcohol? Lies we sprout all around? or a piece of our heart?

Many people always say, they have a hole in their hearts that need to be filled. Either by love or lust. But truth is, I don't really believe there is a hole. But rather a heart like a cocoon.

Lol why's that right? Well, everytime we give up our goals, meet a heartbreaker, lose a friend, a layer of that cocoon is torn off, revealing a soft and vulnerable being within it. And in order to protect itself, it reproduces a harder exterior. Same like hearts. Nobody is born with a hard heart. In fact, its really a soft and beautiful matter.

But as time an sorrows ravages it, it learns to be harder. Finally one day, it becomes so hard that no one can rip anything off it. Sometimes so hard, that the being inside it, can't even come out.

Sometimes I wonder, how hard is my heart. And how much harder can it become. So hard that I die in the inside? or just hard enough for me to struggle through and breakout as a beautiful butterfly(to learn what true happiness is)?

~My Melancholy Melody~